Time
by frenchhornfreak
Summary: After Will leaves once again for another decade of service on the Flying Dutchman, Elizabeth contemplates her life and the time she has left. Oneshot. Willabeth. Just a warning, it's rather angsty since it's going with the non delusional ending.


Ahhh I know I know. I haven't posted in forever. And I soooo wanted to write a whole bunch this summer. Hah. Like I really had time. Man. And my goal was to start an actual story. That went down the drain real fast. But this is what we have. I'm just forewarning you that I'm not completely satisfied with it. At all. But Taylor likes it, and she forced/bribed me to post it. So here we are. And I guess there will be another one coming soon, too. A two shot I wrote a while ago... again not my greatest, but Taylor's making me. Ohh, the quote at the beginning is from an amazing book that I totally recommend. The main characters remind me a lot of Will and Elizabeth for many reasons. It's a great read.

And now, without further ado, I give you the story. Beware, it's a non-delusional fic, so if angst really isn't your thing... yeah. I'm warning you.

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_Time_

_Time means nothing. Stop waiting and be free. - The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger_

Nine years, three hundred and sixty-four days, twenty-one hours and fifty minutes. Only when I put it that way did it seem like he was really gone again. Hours had passed since sunset, but I could still feel the lasting effect of his weathered hands running through my long hair, his lips molding against mine, his muscled body moving over me. Over the years, he had not changed; immortality kept him locked in that one moment when the evilest of creatures pierced a sword through my beloved's heart, cursing him to forever remain at the young age of twenty-two. I, on the other hand, was doomed to age without him, to watch as my hair slowly turn from the light, sun-bleached brown to the softest hints of grays and my face transform from the young woman of my past to the wiser, sadder one of the present.

This was the start of the fourth decade without him. My fifty-second birthday was soon approaching.

We had spent his one day ashore in bed together as we always did, much to my reluctance this particular time. My body had long lost the beauty it had in my younger years, but he still insisted that I was the most gorgeous thing he'd ever laid eyes on. And from the look in his eyes, just like the one he gave me as I descended the stairs of my home that fateful day that our adventure started, I knew he meant every word. For one day, I was able to lose myself in my absolute love and passion for him, to cover up the pain and sadness in my heart with the joy and comfort of having him in my arms. But, just like the decades previous, the call to the cursed ship pulled him back, and I was left alone to face the years to come and wonder how much longer this would last.

My father was fifty-nine when he was murdered, and his health had not been the best for the years previous to that. If this was to be the case for me, I would not make it to the next day ashore. I had sorrowfully voiced this concern to my husband of thirty years, and as was his nature, he was quick to comfort me.

_"Elizabeth," he whispered, his warm breath against my ear sending shivers down my spine, "Live life while you have it. Don't worry yourself with concerns of the future. It's already planned out." Smoothing out the fray of hair around my face, he planted a trail of kisses down my worn face. "One day, when you have passed on, some soul will come along and free me from this wretched duty. When that day comes, I'll meet you on the other side, and we'll be together always." Tears welled in my eyes as he slowly kissed me._

_"And I'll be waiting," I promised. "And I shall die at sea, so you can ferry me." He smiled sorrowfully down at me, his eyes brimming with the tears he could only shed when his heart was near. _

_"I love you," he murmured. I reached my hand up to his smooth face._

_"And I love you." He sighed._

_"But please, don't spend the rest of your life waiting for me. That time will come when we will be together, but until then, let go. Be free, my Elizabeth." He caressed my cheek and kissed away the stream of salty tears running down my face. "Can you do that for me?" I hesitated, but nodded all the same._

I sighed as I looked out beyond the horizon. The depression of yet another ten years without him started to sink in. I knew my time was coming, and I hoped that this worn body of mine could last until our next meeting. Time dragged so slowly when he was away. I had long ago renounced my title as Pirate King, and our son had gotten married to the love of his life last decade, on the occasion of Will's previous day on land. I often visited our grandchildren, but the journey was long and those visits were becoming less and less frequent. Jack had found the Fountain of Youth about a year after the major battle between the pirates and the East India Trading Company. He sometimes made a stop to visit an old friend, but he never stayed for long, preferring to be surrounded by the comfort of the vast blue sea stretching for miles around him.

All in all, there was not much meaning left in my life. If it weren't for our son, I would have lost it a long time ago with Will's death. My time was consumed with waiting for him to return for the short twenty-four hours we were allotted and nothing else.

"_Live life while you have it." _I knew that was his one and only wish for me. But how was I supposed to live life when he _was_ my life? How could he expect me to free myself from him when he was the one and only thing I wanted and needed? I wiped the fresh tears from my eyes as I tried to compose myself. _"Can you do that for me?"_ I really could deny him nothing, but that promise I had made had been out of my reach. There was doubt that I could even try to do that for him. What was there to live for, besides him?

"Mum?" I heard a man's voice call softly behind me. Turning from the rock I was perched on, I watched as a tall form emerged from the darkness.

"William," I breathed as he drew nearer, hurrying to my son to embrace him. "I wasn't expecting you." He kissed the top of my head and guided me down the path to the house.

"I knew that Father was here today, but I thought that you two would want the day alone. I just came to make sure you were alright." His worried brown eyes, the eyes he inherited from his father, gazed down at me. I tried to keep my tears at bay.

"I honestly don't know," I whispered. He rubbed my shoulder soothingly.

"Grandmama! Grandmama!" I heard two voices shout in unison as we approached the doorway. Smiling, I knelt down slowly and opened my arms for first my grandson, his curly hair bouncing with every bound and then my granddaughter, running on unsteady five-year old legs.

"My angels," I said as I embraced them tightly, my heart immediately warming with love. I took a hold of young Bill's hand (William had insisted on keeping the male Turner's name going) in mine and hoisted Lizzie, my namesake, onto my hip. Beaming at my son and his wife, I beckoned them inside.

Later that night, as I placed my sleeping angels in a spare bed and kissed them goodnight, I thought about what Will had said. Since our marriage, my whole life had been consumed with waiting for him and nothing else. Day by day, I would half-heartedly go through the motions of living, silently counting down to his next arrival. Days would turn into years which would turn into decades, and then he would come back to me again, at the same time as he always did. Every time I hoped and prayed in vain that a miracle would happen and he would be free. But my miracle never came true.

Sighing, I leaned against the doorframe and watched my grandchildren peacefully sleeping, their dreams filled with the joy and carefree thoughts of children, oblivious to the rest of the world's troubles and worries. Smiling wistfully, I wished that I could once again have the outlook of a child, to dream about adventure and pirates and true love as I had when I was a young girl. But those thoughts never ran through my head anymore; now I was burdened with the weight of the truth that the world wasn't always a happy place.

I quietly left the bedroom, closing the door softly behind me, and went back to the living room. As I rounded the corner, I saw William standing with his wife in a gentle embrace. Not wanting to disturb the moment, I waited in the shadows of the hallway. Even though William had hardly ever spent time with his father, he had inherited almost every single one of his traits; his bravery, chivalry, gentleness, and complete adoration for the love of his life, mixed with his soft brown eyes and curly brown hair, made William the splitting image of Will. I smiled as William kissed his wife's forehead and stroked her hair. They were exactly like Will and me. All through their courtship, and even before, they were inseparable, and most importantly, the best of friends. The only difference was they could life their lives together, whereas Will and I could not.

I tiptoed into the room as William looked up. He smiled and let go of his wife to pull me into a hug, comforting me as he always did. William had always known just what to do after Will left. Whether it was letting me cry into his shoulder or telling me it was going to be all right, he always found a way to reassure me. This time, no words were exchanged and he let me think, because that's what I needed. Truly he was the perfect son, my little miracle. After a moment, he pulled back and looked me in the eye to make sure I was all right. I managed to give him a small smile. He nodded and told me he loved me, releasing his hold on me. Saying their goodnights, he took his wife's hand again and led her out of the room.

Finally able to let down my guard, I sat down on a chair and let the tears flow freely as all the thoughts I had had that night came together. As I thought about my family and their lives, I realized that I had made a big mistake in the past. All my life had been spent waiting for Will. Looking back, I had never once taken the chance to be free of it, to actually _live_. Each day was consumed with thoughts of him, of wishing and hoping for that miracle that he would come back for good, but never did I look at the miracles I had in front of me, like my family and life! There are some things you can't change, and you just have to do the best you can with the circumstances. I knew there was nothing I could do about Will's circumstances, but I could do something about mine. My husband would have to ferry souls until the day he died, but I could do more than that. And I had to, for both me and for Will, because that's what he wanted for me. Because he loved me. My face broke into a smile at the new found revelation and I looked at the old grandfather clock in the corner ticking away the seconds.

Nine years, three hundred and sixty-four days, twenty-one hours and ten minutes. When compared to forever, ten years didn't seem that long. I knew one day he would join me on the other side. Time would be nothing. He would come, and we would be reunited again.

But now was not the time for waiting. Now was the time to live. And so I did.

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Mehhh... if you have any constructive criticism, it is much welcomed as long as you are nice about it. I'm always looking for ways I can improve, so any comments are appreciated. :D

Thanks for reading!


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